Apparently, Conservatives Want ME for Prez!

Professor Stephen Bainbridge, who tends to lean right, has an interesting post with a list of the qualities he wants in a Presidential Candidate.... Amazingly, the most qualified person seems to be...... ME! The GOP can call me anytime, but I'll only run if can run as a Dem too.... or maybe anarchosocialist libertarian!

Here's the list, with my qualifications checked off!

Update: In fact, as long as we're on the subject of useless Presidential criteria, here's some more things I'd like to see in the next President:

• Knows which wine to match with the foie gras-stuffed quail being served at a state dinner [check]
  
• Won't wink at the Queen [check...altho I do wink at queens......]
  
• Doesn't hunt, fish, or go with girls who do [check]
  
• Smokes cigars [check]
  
• Is sometimes accused of having a metrosexual streak [check the bf calls me Frazier]
  
• Only drinks beer with foods that would score at least 10,000 on the Scoville scale [check-ish.... maybe we can compromise at 2500?]
  
• Can credibly debate the relative claims of The Matrix, Star Wars, Bladerunner, and Star Trek II to be the greatest science fiction movie of all time [check]
  
• Can credibly debate the relative claims of The Who and Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band to be the world's greatest rock and roll band [miss.... I'd still pick the Stones]
  
• Came from a state that didn't secede [check/miss... born in Texas, but now a Californian]
  
• Can recite at least one Monty Python skit from memory [CHECK! Only one? You fag!]
  
• Can credibly debate the relative claims of Blazing Saddles, The Producers, and Young Frankenstein to be Mel Brook's best movie, while explaining why Spaceballs is a candidate for the worst movie ever [check... but could never pick]
  
• Has never sat through an entire Woody Allen movie, an entire Nascar race, or an entire Dixie Chicks concert [does 2 for 3 count? I do like Woody Allen]
  
• Wouldn't camp out 5 days to get Garth Brooks tickets even if s/he was camping at the time [Check]
  
• Went to Germany on vacation because s/he couldn't find a highway with high enough speed limits in the US [Check-ish... haven't but would!]
  
• Prefers football to basketball to baseball to soccer [CHECK...A-fucking-men!]
  
• Doesn't play golf [Check]
  
• Doesn't bowl [Check]
  
• Has no kids to foist subsequent generations of politicians on us [CHECK!]
  
• Has a spouse with no political ambitions [Check.... makes him comatose!]
  
• Lives with at least one golden retriever [Had one as a kid... no yard now]